Sometimes Tongues are for Biting

There's a book I (think I) remember reading to my children called "Toes are to Tickle" where you go through the day in the life of the characters pointing out the purpose of different items. They really could use an update and include many things of which I oft find myself wondering of their purpose. Flowers are for smelling, the book says; assembly directions are for reference after what seems obvious doesn't go together right; alarms are for snoozing - highly practical stuff is what is needed.

Most people would say tongue is for tasting or talking or...whatever. More and more I have found that, at times, tongues are for biting; I mean me biting my tongue in the figurative (most of the time) sense, not randomly biting people's tongues.

I am a person who tends to both speak my mind and wear my heart on my sleeve. It doesn't take much for people to figure out where I stand on an issue - really there's no figuring it out 'cause I've said it.

There has been much that has transpired in the last several weeks that has challenged me to figure out what I should say, what I can say and whether I should say anything at all.

In my position, working at the helm of a non profit agency, there are times I really can't say things that I feel need to be said. There's some provision that limits NP's from making public stances as an agency on legislation. There's a fine line when a person is a person and that person is seen as representing an agency. Not to mention the local "politics" that need to be taken into account.

I wish I could develop an alter we-go (web + alter-ego = w-ego) where I could step out of me and make some experiential and observational statements about stuff that's happening in politics, in the community and in my own little world. Really, the web lends itself to we-go's and many people use them.

For me, I'm too me to not want my ideas tied back to me. If anyone want to challenge me, I want them to do just that. Many times it helps me better understand an issue, revise or strengthen my opinion.

But--

being opinionated - and some might call stubborn or driven by an agenda - polarizes people in some cases. It is frustrating to not be able to make a case about something because someone has already labled your ideas, suggestions, etc. based on how they felt about another completely unrelated position you took. And sometimes you are a product and representative of whatever organization you are tied to - and that's not a bad thing; unless people use your position against said organization. Many times, that's what given you the experience or insight to make the observation/statement.

...and when I say "you" I mean me.

So, do I let loose the reins and put it all there and just deal with the ramifications.

Unfortunately, no.

There's too much damage that can be caused by linkage from me to the agency for which I work to make a public stand at this point. Maybe I should run for public office - though that's not possible in our current political system because I can't image either party would take all of me anymore than I feel like I fit into all of either.

A column might be an interesting venture - though this venue works pretty well. But even here I feel like I need to bite my tongue; who knows who might take what I write here and how. Sometimes I wonder what I am trying to say, meandering around issues and the like.

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(my tribute to Joseph Heller - somewhat random interuption of thought)
Do you remember Larry King's old USA Today column...? That'd be a great format to spit out once a week. Thought-filled, visionary statements like - Is there anything better than toasting then ends of bread with butter and peanut butter...sometimes when I'm talking, I don't listen to what I'm saying, but rather think about what I already said and what I should say next...I think our cat lacks saliva glands because he always wants to have the shower drip on him before he licks himself...if you have ADAH,radio is the perfect ca - SQUIRREL...I really should have a salad once in a while...Hello, Minnatonka
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In the mean time, I'll keep trying to figure out how to work within the system...

and continue to bite my tongue.

Much more of this and I won't have to worry about talking as I won't have enough tongue to talk. Or I'll walk around like Fleck with an old school bandage wrapped around it.

Empty Me

Empty Me of the selfishness inside,
Every vain ambition and poison of my pride.
Any foolish thing my heart holds to,
Lord, empty me of me so I can be, filled with You.
Chris Sligh – Empty Me

How many times a day am I guilty of putting me ahead of Him.
It’s rhetorical people, but the answer is more than I can keep track of.

There have been some amazing amounts of stress-ish things that have been dropped on my plate in the last week…actually felt more like repeated blows to the head and heart.

Now the issue is that I am stressing about stressing. I really need to not be stressing; so I stress about the fact that I am stressing and man that is stressing.

So, during the course of the last week - another where I spent my time running around like a chicken with my head cut-off (though there is a petition to change the phrase to “running around like RG” – darn chicken advocates), a non-descript email arrived on Wednesday inviting me (and others who participate in the Valparaiso Christian Ministerial Association) to a prayer meeting that Friday.

How could I make time in my busy schedule to do that? Then it dawned on my, how could I not make time in my “busy” schedule to do that?

I had the opportunity to spend some time chatting with Pastor Rich Schmidt (Living Hope – www.livinghope.info – check it out, check it outers) at Evelyn Bay prior to the meeting. It was nice to learn and talk about some ways we can work together. It was positive, it was rich (caught myself in a pun) and it was energizing.

Then Pastors Mike Sutton (Liberty Bible – www.lbchurch.org) and Mike Eddy (Valparaiso Community Church - http://mysite.verizon.net/mikeeddy2/index.html) joined the conversation and we spent time talking about life concerns, family concerns, work concerns – prayer concerns. Then we prayed. It was powerful. It was humbling. It was emptying. It was filling.

It was exactly where I needed to be; it was where I was supposed to be.

There is immense amount of stuff out there to beat us down, make us question why – stress.

Thankfully, if we are paying attention, there are plenty of nudges, signs and blessings all around us to pick us up, keep us on track and focused on what we need to be focused on.

Is all the world a better place – gosh no. But the reality is; my frame of mind is; my focus is on the right things and I’m not wasting energy stressing – at least until I slip up and start putting me in front of Him again.